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GRIEF counselling on the sunshine coast

Grief is a natural response to the loss of something or someone important - whether that be a loved one, a relationship, a future dream, health changes, life transitions, moving away, or experiencing a trauma or tragedy.

At Full Life Psychology, we walk alongside people experiencing a wide range of reasons for grief, and our grief counselling and psychology services are provided with care, sensitivity and respect.

This particular information sheet addresses just one form of grief - the loss of a co-regulating figure in your life, which is felt not only emotionally but physically.

What ARE CO-REGULATING FIGURES?

Co-regulating figures are the people who help us calm down, feel safe, and steady our emotions. This could be a partner, parent, child, or close friend. Their presence, voice or touch helps regulate our body and emotions.

Humans are wired for connection — our nervous systems settle in the presence of trusted others. A hug, a calm voice, or simply knowing someone is there can reduce stress hormones and ease anxiety. This shared emotional regulation between two people is called co-regulation.

GRIEF AS LOSS OF CO-REGULATION

When someone we love dies, we don’t just lose their presence — we lose the person who helped us regulate. Without that co-regulating figure, the nervous system loses a familiar source of safety. This is why grief feels not only painful, but also disorienting and exhausting.

WHAT INTERFERES WITH HEALING?

Some responses can make grief feel heavier and harder to process:

  • Old grief resurfacing, adding weight to the current loss

  • Shutting down emotions or trying to push feelings away

  • Turning to alcohol or substances as a way to cope

  • Keeping yourself constantly busy, leading to burnout

  • Making promises to the deceased that are unrealistic

  • Withdrawing from supportive people who want to help

  • Feeling judged or misunderstood by those around you

THE STRESS RESPONSE IN GRIEF

Losing a co-regulating figure can trigger the body’s stress response. The brain releases cortisol and adrenaline, shifting us into “survival mode.” This affects sleep, appetite, energy, and concentration, and can strain the immune system.

Without the calming presence of that loved one, the body has to work harder to restore balance, which is why grief is felt not just emotionally, but also physically - throughout the whole body.

WHAT HELPS GRIEF?

The attachment bond is forever. Grieving is about learning how to regulate when our person is no longer physically present and to express our relationship with them in meaningful ways. We may find ways to continue our bond with them, including carrying forward a core value, continuing traditions, sharing stories, visiting a special place, or writing letters to them.

Although grieving is intense and unpredictable, by giving voice to our emotions and what they mean to us, connecting with other co-regulating people and doing practical things that soothe our body, our nervous system gradually learns how to find calm again. We will always feel the absence of our loved person, but with time and care, grief changes so we can remember them with love.

FURTHER FACTS ABOUT GRIEF

  • Simple (or typical) grief is the natural process of finding your way through a loss. It can be deeply painful, but with time most people slowly discover ways to cope and reconnect with life again.

  • Complex (or prolonged) grief is when the pain of loss feels especially strong or doesn’t ease over time (>12 months in adults), making it harder to manage daily life.

  • If the relationship with the person was complicated, or you do not have supportive people in your life, or you have never learnt healthy ways to process difficult emotions, grief can get stuck. A psychologist can help you understand your grief and what you need to find healing.

MORE INFORMATION FROM LEADING ORGANISATIONS

Download our information sheet

WHAT’S THE NEXT STEP?

  • Talk to your GP about how you are feeling. They can refer you to a psychologist to help support you during this difficult time - you don’t need to do this alone.

  • Connect with trusted loved ones.

  • Be kind to yourself.

  • Take one day at a time.

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our team

you’re in good hands

Our team of psychologists are highly trained and qualified to support you on your well-being journey. Each psychologist holds at least a master’s degree and is committed to ongoing professional development, ensuring the highest standard of care. Beyond their professional skills, they are genuinely wonderful individuals who love what they do, creating a warm and welcoming environment for all.

Laura Scherman, Principal Clinical Psychologist, Full Life Psychology, Sunshine Coast, Queensland, Australia, Psychology Services

Laura Scherman

Principal Clinical Psychologist

  • BPsychSc (Hons), MPsych(Clin), MAPS

    Founder and Director of Full Life Psychology, Laura leads a unified, skilled team of compassionate therapists dedicated to helping people live a meaningful and FULL LIFE.

    In her own clinical work, Laura values building strong therapeutic relationships with her clients and creates a warm, nurturing, and respectful space where people feel safe to freely talk through the challenges they are facing and to learn ways to better navigate them. Laura wants her clients to feel seen and heard and to know that they matter. Evidence-based therapies Laura uses include Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Schema Therapy, and more recently, Eye Movement Desentisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy. Laura works with clients aged 16 and up and has supported people from diverse backgrounds, such as working professionals, students, pastors and leaders, retirees, police officers, new parents, and more, always respecting their personal values and goals.

    Areas of interest include:

    • Anxiety

    • Self-worth

    • Burnout

    • Adjustment issues

    • Resolving historical behaviour patterns

    • Women’s mental health

    • Health in leadership

    • Faith and psychology

    Laura has experience presenting to groups of people in various educational and church settings.  She lives on the Sunshine Coast with her husband and two children, and in her free time enjoys conversations with loved ones, creativity, traveling, and new experiences.

ARwyn WARNER

CLINICAL Psychologist

  • BA(PSYCH)HONS, MPSYCH(CLIN)

    Arwyn is a warm, empathetic Clinical Psychologist who has worked for over twenty years in private practice, community settings and hospitals. Whatever a person is struggling with, she aims to help her clients feel valued and empowered to overcome their difficulties and live well. She enjoys helping adults 18 years and over from all walks of life and works with each person to identify their goals and understand what is happening for them. She draws on a range of evidence-based treatment approaches according to each person’s needs, including interpersonal therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Schema Therapy and EMDR. Arwyn provides Telehealth services only, which means you can have therapy in the comfort of your home and is available on Mondays.

    Her areas of interest include:

    • Anxiety conditions

    • Depression

    • Sleep problems

    • Women’s mental health

    • PTSD and complex trauma

    • Coping with stress, adjustment and grief and loss

    • Coping with chronic illness and medical conditions, including cancer, migraines, persistent pain and functional neurological conditions 

    Arwyn lives in Brisbane with her husband and has two wonderful adult daughters. She loves music, drawing and dancing, and when she is not working as a psychologist, she can be found hiking in the bush, brushcutting weeds on their property or tango dancing.

ERIN CLOUT

CLINICAL Psychologist

  • BSOCSCI(PSYCH)(HONS) MPSYCH(CLIN)

    Erin is a clinical psychologist who is passionate about helping people navigate challenges and overcome barriers to reach their full potential. She values creating a warm and supportive therapeutic relationship, with an emphasis on compassion and a non-judgmental approach.

    Erin draws on evidence-based therapies, including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and Schema Therapy.

    Interest Areas:

    • Anxiety

    • Depression

    • Stress and burnout

    • Self-worth

    • Women’s mental health

    • Faith and psychology

    Erin is a bookworm, loves quality time with her favourite people, and all things relating to interior design. In her spare time, you'll find Erin in the garden, trying to hone her green thumb, and taking river walks with her dog.