Anxiety: Your Misunderstood Best Friend

Most people think anxiety is the problem. But what if anxiety isn’t your enemy at all — what if it is actually trying to help you?

Most of us have experienced moments where anxiety feels overwhelming. We might think, “I just want this feeling to stop,” or “If only I could get rid of this anxiety.”

But anxiety isn’t actually a mistake in our system. It’s part of how the human brain is designed to protect us.

YOUR BODY’S BUILT-IN PROTECTION SYSTEM

When our brain senses a potential threat, the body automatically activates the fight-or-flight response. A number of quick and fascinating changes happen within the body to help prepare us to respond. Our body energises us to act, increases vigilance, boosts oxygen intake, prepares our muscles, and redistributes blood flow and energy to the places that need it most — all without us having to consciously think about it.

This response exists for a reason — anxiety, at the right level, is actually useful.

In many ways, your body is your misunderstood best friend. It activates this anxiety response in an effort to keep you safe. But often all we can focus on is how uncomfortable the feeling is, and how much we want it to go away.

WHY PSYCHOLOGISTS DON’t TRY TO ELIMINATE ANXIETY

As psychologists, we never aim to eliminate anxiety. In fact, it is physiologically impossible — and it would actually be a disservice if we did. Anxiety is part of the system that keeps you alive.

Instead, therapy often focuses on helping people understand exactly what their body is doing in those anxious moments. When we understand the purpose of anxiety, we can begin to appreciate our “best friend” rather than fear it. Misunderstanding and fear can actually compound the fight-or-flight response, because the body itself begins to feel like the threat.

When Anxiety Becomes Overprotective

Of course, even well-meaning best friends can sometimes become a little overprotective — and anxiety can behave like that too.

Sometimes anxiety begins activating in everyday situations that aren’t actually dangerous, or the response can come on much stronger than the situation calls for. When that happens, the goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety, but to learn skills that help regulate the body and bring the response back to a level that is actually helpful.

Because anxiety, at the right level, is actually useful. Not only does it help keep us safe in dangerous situations, it can also motivate us to take action — helping us meet deadlines and perform at our best.

But when anxiety begins activating in situations that aren’t truly threatening, it can become distracting and overwhelming, affecting our ability to fully participate in life.

It’s Not Anxiety — It’s the Volume

A helpful way to think about this is through a simple analogy.

If a song is playing too loudly, the problem isn’t the song itself — it’s the volume. The same is true for anxiety. The issue usually isn’t anxiety itself — it’s the volume.

This is where learning new skills to help regulate the body becomes important. But if we don’t first understand what anxiety is trying to do for us, many people stay stuck in a cycle of fighting their own body. The fear or hatred of anxiety symptoms can actually keep the fight-or-flight response going.

WORKING WITH YOUR “MISUNDERSTOOD BEST FRIEND”

So the first step is often surprisingly simple:

Take a curious interest in what your body is trying to do for you.

Instead of seeing anxiety as an enemy, begin to recognise it as a protective system — one that may simply be trying a little too hard to keep you safe. When we start to change our attitude and appreciate what our body is doing for us, the system starts to calm down and we have much more success using regulation tools to continue to turn the Fight-or-Flight response down.

However, if anxiety has started making the decisions in your life and it’s affecting you professionally or personally, reaching out to your GP or a psychologist can be a really helpful step. With the right understanding and tools, people can learn to respond to anxiety in ways that allow them to live more freely again.

Written by Laura Scherman, Clinical Psychologist. March 2026.

As featured on breakfast radio with Salt106.5